How to Break Bad Habits and Start 2017 afresh

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How to Break Bad Habits and Start 2017 afresh

There is no better time to start afresh and pursue new goals and dreams than the start of a new year. It's a great time to reflect before pressing the reset button.

However, thinking about change and actually implementing it is something quite different.

That's because bad habits are hard to break, I know all too well - this weekend I was BAD, I hope SANTA wasn't watching!!

In order to break old habits and replace them with shiny new and empowering ones it's crucial to follow a system that's proven, tested and actually works.

Just like my Total Life Transformation System™: 90 Days to a Whole New You™. It's been perfected over a number of years by me and my clients are having amazing results with it.

HERE'S HOW:

1. Replace your bad habit with a good habit. Habits are hard to break because you're just so used to doing them they become automatic. If you replace habits with a new behaviour 'piggy backing new habits onto existing ones' at the same time/event or trigger your subconscious ingrains the new habit in the place of old one and it makes it a good habit much quicker. 

2. Know your triggers and avoid them. Make it easier on yourself to break bad habits by avoiding the things that cause them. Change your environment change your outcome.

3. Make the new habits easy and convenient. The simpler the better, easy things are easy to do. Simple!

4. Don't do it alone get accountability and support. Tell people who you know will support you and keep you accountable, we can fool ourselves but when we're accountable to others we're less likely to break the new good habit, we all want positivity and praise deep down!

5. Imagine your new improved self using your 5 senses. Powerful visualisation is incredibly effective. See, hear, feel, touch and taste your new 'improved self' daily for 21 days and 

6. Reward your success. We've not come far from Pavlov's dog, rewards work, they encourage you to repeat the behaviour. 

7. Rinse & Repeat for 21 Days. Do this for 21 Days and voilà a shiny, new positive habit has been formed!

So are you ready to make 2017 your best year yet?

If so contact me NOW!

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3 Steps to Stopping the Comparison Game

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3 Steps to Stopping the Comparison Game

It is our intrinsic nature, from inception Mothers constantly compare their babies. So it's not surprising that as small children we grow up comparing ourselves to our friends, siblings and classmates and most schools foster a hugely competitive learning environment which adds fuel to the fire.

I grew up in the rural English countryside and my earliest memories of school are littered with endless examples. How tall we were, how quickly we learnt to ride our bikes, how good we were at reading, how quickly we could tie our laces, what grades we got and it went on and on. 

I was top of the class, head of the sports teams and third tallest girl in my class so what if I wasn't the first to tie my laces! Seriously though, it didn't stop there, through my teenage years the comparisons continued who was the most popular, smartest and most attractive. Through university, the most fun, the most ambitious, the most likely to succeed. Then income, job title, designer wardrobes, partners, houses, it's exhausting.

After a while it becomes a toxic rollercoaster of a ride that sucks the joy out of everything! 

The advent of Social Media, is when it all started crashing down. Who hasn't found themselves on a rampage, perhaps dare I say it after a drink or four scrolling through endless images on Instagram, exploring the dark depths of LinkedIn or reading post after post on Facebook just to find one small nugget that make us feel that we've come out on top, that we've won the comparison game!

What ultimately happens is that continued comparison makes us feel inadequate, infinitely more anxious and undermines our sense of worth. So if you want to quit the game, follow these three simple steps.

1. Stop Looking Through Rose Tinted Glasses

Social media is a great way to stay in touch with friends and see countless cute animal pictures (what's not to love) but when we start comparing ourselves to others things can get out of hand. You're seeing the highlights of everyone's life through a filter, and people look damn fine through those filters. Let's be honest we all know it's not reality! It's time to take off the glasses and get real, spend time with your friends. You'll find out the reality is far less glamorous and you'll both feel happier and more connected for doing so.

2. Remember We're Not Like For Like

Apples aren't oranges and nor are they pears! We're all totally unique and that's what makes us so special. From our DNA to the way we interpret the world and that really is a good thing. Imagine how boring the world would be if we were all the same. So embrace your uniqueness and dare I say it weird ways because we all have them and you'll start appreciating yourself and others far more. 

3. Be Grateful For What You Have

Sometimes it's difficult to forget how lucky we really are. On a packed tube in London's rush hour is one of those times granted but just think you could be your Grandad having to walk 4 miles to work, in the driving snow!! Seriously though, when we take a moment to be grateful each day for even the simplest of things, be that a warm bed or a hearty meal you do start to feel much happier and more content.

As Roosevelt said "Comparison is the Thief of Joy" so stop comparing and starting living your life with joy.

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3 Ways To Keep Your Head When All Around You Are Losing Theirs

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3 Ways To Keep Your Head When All Around You Are Losing Theirs

I was recently travelling back from Berlin when my flight was cancelled and rescheduled for the next day. This in itself was not unusual especially since I was flying a certain low cost airline with a reputation for less than perfect punctuality and service.

However, what was interesting was how many people totally and utterly lost their heads in the moment. At first frustration in the group gently smouldered but the lack of ownership and incompetence of the individuals 'managing' the situation was like kerosine to the fire.

The mob was mad!

Don't get me wrong corporate incompetence is annoying, unnecessary and largely avoidable but it beggared the question, did it warrant the kind of rage that was being displayed or was this years of pent up anger being released on some unwitting member of staff?! I think it was fair to say...

The trigger is not the cause 

Here are 3 ways to ensure that you keep your cool no matter how stressful the situation.

1. Slow Down & Breathe

When stressed, we forget the most basic things  - your breath! It is a very powerful tool for naturally calming and de-stressing the body. So slow down and take 10 deep breaths, or as many as you need to regain some clarity and calmness. Try and allow the out-breath to be slightly longer than the in-breath, or if you''re finding that difficult just breath in and out for 6 counts each. This will engage your body’s parasympathetic nervous system to release chemicals in your brain which signal to the body that everything’s A OK. Chill Winston!

2. Focus on What You Can Control

Instead of panicking about things you have no influence over, direct your focus towards things you can control. Use your energy to take positive action on things within your sphere of influence, anything else is a waste of your time and energy and will result in greater frustration. Just try and take each moment as it comes this will help to manage your own expectations.

Remember, ultimately you can’t change other people or the decisions they make. Instead, change how you respond to those decisions, and you’ll feel much more powerful and in control.

3. Think Positively

Reframe your thinking. Instead of seeing negativity and problems, try and look at the opportunities you have instead. Focusing on what’s good is not the same as being optimistic, which can lead to disappointment and disillusionment. The trick is to have neutral or balanced expectations, and to focus on the good stuff when the situation actually occurs.

If things seem too overwhelming to handle, focus on what this situation is teaching you. Whether it’s patience, resilience, or a reminder to see the funny side of life this experience is an opportunity for personal growth.

 

Lastly I think it's important to remember that our situation is rarely unique, it's probably happened before and there are likely to be those worse off than yourself so follow these 3 simple tricks and keep your head when a situation gets you hot under the collar.

And 'til the next time Keep Your Feet Firmly on the Ground (Please excuse the pun!) 

 

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The Search For Truth

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The Search For Truth

For my first blog, I wanted to write about something I’m incredibly passionate about and that has been instrumental in improving the quality of my life over the last 18 months. That something is mediation and to be more specific - Woo Myung's Korean Mind Meditation.

For the last 10 years I’ve practiced Mindfulness. I've joined many of Oprah and Deepak Chopra 21 Day Meditation Challenges which incorporate Primordial Sound Meditation, which I'd recommend as a great place to start. I've used Louise Hay's Affirmation Meditation, Mindfulness Based Stress Reductions that use body scanning and breath awareness. In fact I've tried countless types of guided meditation but my attention span was always short and I’d quickly move from one thing to the next.

After moving back to Wimbledon in 2015, fate stepped in and I was handed a flier for a local meditation centre, offering free introductory seminars and so I went that very evening; what can I say it's changed my life and I haven't looked back since.

One of the biggest obstacles in reaching enlightenment and becoming Truth is the complexity of the mind. This meditation keeps things simple, it explains that our mind is an accumulation of pictures stored within one's mind and body. A gathering of past experiences recorded through the body's senses which mould our thoughts and reactions and is not who we truly are.

The meditation follows a 7 level step-by step process called the subtraction method, which allows you to reflect on your life and empty your mind of all the accumulated thoughts you've gathered so you can let go of pain, burden and stress. On enlightening to level 7 you will know and become Truth and understand some the fundamental questions of life:

Who am I? Where do I come from? Where do I go when I die? Why do I live? What happens to me when I die?

As a result of my dedicated practice, which is usually in the region of 8-10 hours per week. I am less anxious and stressed and infinitely more centred, happier and more tolerant. It’s raised my self awareness and I feel more confident and creative than I have done in a long time.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s a commitment and a journey and at times a painful one. When you look back over your life, you sometimes have to face things you don’t want to acknowledge. At times you have uncontrollable thoughts whirling around your brain, weighing on you so heavily you can hardly breathe but the results are remarkable.

I certainly not perfect but I am a better version of me from doing this meditation and my friends and family bear testament to that.

So go on, explore, there really is a meditation type for everyone, let it form part of your healthy habits and I'm sure you'll see the positive results roll in.

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